It all started when I approached the customers’ table to ask “Are we doing well?”
(There were 10 customers, all foreign, from Equador, Spain, Japan, China, American, and Jamaica, who thought to try out Filipino cuisine that day)
They replied with a “The food was really good.” Then the meat of the story really began here.
The American woman and the Spanish guy asked what we used to cook the “Adobong Pusit”, and why it is so black because they really liked it.
(To clarify, I spent the first 30 minutes of my shift as a waiter reading the whole menu cover to cover and understanding their ingredients and how it was prepared)
This is what I explained, “We used its natural ink to give its flavor, and then we used the spices used in the original adobo, which is pork, to cook it. Most Filipino kids really like this dish especially when they show each other’s blackened teeth.”
Then one of them asked, “My friends told me that if I get the chance to visit Philippines, I should eat your duck eggs. Why is that?”
“Then you’ve heard about our ‘balot’.” I replied, “It is one of our famous exotic food in our country. It is made from fertilized duck eggs.”
“So there really is a formed chick inside?” the foreigner’s face was both in awe and disgust.
“Yes.” I nodded, “But it comes in different types, depending on how long, in days, they were fertilized. The ‘balot’ penoy has the shortest fertilization days, although I’m not sure how many. The yolk inside has not yet really formed into a chick but is already different from a regular egg yolk. The second type is the ’14-day balot’. Just like its namesake, it took 14 days for the egg to fertilize and the chick has already formed into an embryo-ish look. I don’t much about it since I’m not fond of them.
“The third one is the ’16-day balot’. The embryo inside has already matured a bit since it’s a little bit bigger than the previous one’s. But the best thing about this type of ‘balot’ is its soup. ’16-days’ has the most soup of the ‘balots’, as far as I know though. You will really enjoy it if you put vinegar, preferably cane vinegar, in the soup and a sprinkle of salt, preferably rock salt. The mixture of both saltiness and sourness makes it really enjoyable.
“The last one I know of is the ’18-day balot’. The chick here is already matured to the point that it already has bones, a beak, feet, claws, and feathers. But the chick is still so soft that it actually breaks if you push it with your finger. This is the usual favorite for grown men (You can really see their disgust and amazement in their faces in this part).
After I explained to them WHAT a ‘balot’ is, I then immediately explained HOW to enjoy it.
“The best way to eat a ‘balot’ is during night time, including late afternoon and dawn.”
“Why is that?” they asked.
“Because we find it gross if we eat it during breakfast and lunch.” Then they laughed at the irony.
I continued, “I’m really not sure why we eat it at late hours, maybe because we really can’t see what’s inside.” They nodded in agreement.
Then the Chinese woman asked why the vegetable mix with the okra tasted good too.
“Ah, you must be referring to ‘Utan Bisaya’. The term originally came from the Visayas region of the country (then I quickly explained to them Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao), hence Bisaya. This region, our region, is basically split into two major dialects: Cebuano and Hiligaynon (I forgot that there was still Waray), and the ‘Utan Bisaya’ is mostly eaten by the Visayans.
“‘Utan Bisaya’ is actually a mix of summer vegetables, cooked in boiling water and a little bit of salt. Their simple presentation lets you taste the native life of a Visayan, simple and laid back. Most kids really hate eating this since their parents force them to, but as you grow older, you will come to miss and appreciate it, just like me.”
“I really like how you used curry to flavor your beef, and the beef is really soft.” The American woman complimented.
“That’s Kare-kare.” I said, “And it’s not curry. That’s ground peanut or peanut butter.”
“Peanuts? Nice.”
Then I asked, “Do you have more questions?”
“Yes,” asked the Spanish guy, “Can you tell us about the Spaniards?”
“Do you want to hear the good story or the bad story?” They laughed.
“Both.”
So I quickly summarized to them about Magellan and how he met his death in the hands of our native hero (although I did not mention the ‘hero’ word and apologized about Magellan’s death). Then I used the lessons that we’ve learned in our history class about how the Spaniards enslaved us for 333 years, then passed on to the Americans, then finally ended in our independence.
“I noticed that your dishes have really different tastes, unlike Indian or Thai or the Vietnamese who almost serves all their food spicy.” one of them said.
“Ah yes,” I explained, “That’s because of the different races that colonized us or have traded with us, like Chinese, Malays, the Spaniards, and the Americans. If you have remembered your history lessons, the reason why foreigners voyaged to the Philippines in the past is that because our country is one of the famed Spice Islands. And spice was a very lucrative business back then. But due to the mixed culture that entered our country, we, Filipinos, have ‘filipinized’ some of their culinary techniques. Hence, the different flavors of our dishes. We actually borrowed the best of both worlds – east and west.
“Since I’m already explaining this one to you, if you will get your menus and open to the very last pages, you can actually read about our different culinary techniques per region. (I was actually holding an open menu in front of them while explaining everything I remembered without looking at the menu, like a PowerPoint presentation, or preaching)”
They all really paid attention while I was explaining quickly and clearly.
“As I have said before, Philippines is divided into three main islands. From north to south, we have Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao.
“Luzon is divided into four major culinary regions. First we have the Northern Luzon. Northern Luzon is where you will meet one of our ethnic groups; those that wear G-strings every day. As a side note, if you happen to visit our country, visit Baguio. You will see this ethnic group, called the Ifugaos, build and ride wooden scooters downhill. It’s really nice seeing them riding their scooters in steep downhill roads. I would like to try it, but decided not to since there is a chance you might ‘die’ from the experience (they laughed).
“Anyhow, Northern Luzon region likes cooking their food mostly with shrimp paste, known in our language as ‘bagoong’ or ‘uyap’. Their meat of choice is mostly poultry and they are fond of soup, mostly from home-grown vegetables.
“Next we have Central Luzon. This region is where our country’s capital is located. So by definition, most of their foods are prepared fancy and are heavily borrowed by other cultures. This region is heavy on meat, especially pork and beef.
“Next we have Southern Luzon. This region is known for their heavy use on tamarind for their soup. Tamarind is also known as ‘sinigang’, hence the dishes ‘sinigang na baboy, manok, or isda’. They also developed the artificial way of culturing milk fish or ‘bangus’ (although I wasn’t sure about this, but I know I read it somewhere).
“Next we have Bicol. But let’s skip this part since I don’t know much about them (they laughed).
“Next we have the Visayan region, my region. Visayans in the past were mostly fishermen, since farmers can’t really farm a lot here because of our really split islands, unlike Luzon and Mindanao which are really big islands. But Visayas are famously known for its beautiful beaches. Our beaches are on par with the beaches you know in the Bahamas, especially Boracay. If you have the budget, Boracay is definitely a place to visit.
“Anyhow, Visayans mostly eat vegetables, fish, and pork, especially ‘Humba’, my personal favorite.
“If you turn to the pork section of the menu, you will see ‘humba’. On the last paragraph, you can read that this dish is a popular food among ‘Cebuanos’ and is dominantly seen in ‘fiestas’. The best part about ‘humba’ is that since we didn’t have fridges in the past, Visayans cook the pork, mostly pork knuckles, using its own fat. Humba was discovered because of this technique. Humba is never ‘humba’ if it has no fat, that’s my personal opinion though. This preserving technique is called ‘kupos’, while the act of doing ‘kupos’ is ‘pinakupsan’ or ‘kupsan’. The best part of this cooking technique is its shelf life. A humba cooked using ‘pinakupsan’ can last up to 6 months ‘un-fridged’ (They nodded in a ‘not bad’ manner). I can attest to this because I have eaten a four-month old humba.”
“But I can see that the humba is so full of calories. You might have health problems if you keep eating them regularly.” said the Spanish guy.
“Sir, I rather die a happy man, than die a healthy man.” was my impromptu witty answer. Then the Jamaican gave me a high five in agreement (maybe because he smokes weed. Hehe. Call me racist).
Then I ended the discussion about Mindanao. How they are divided into two main groups: Christian (mostly Catholics) and Muslim. And jokingly told them about how it’s famous for its rebel terrorist groups. But I did not go into details.
“So did you enjoy our small tour?” I asked after I concluded the topic.
They thanked me a lot, and even took their pictures with me. I was flattered of course but enjoyed the moment, and even invited me to their future activities. I declined respectfully.
The Spanish even asked me if I was the manager. Seriously? And then complimented me that I will become the manager soon (please don’t spread this). I just nodded and smiled.
Then the American woman told me to call the manager himself and said these exact words, “Thank you for the experience, because he was awesome.”
I AM AWESOME! I thought. THE AWESOMEST COMPLIMENT I EVER HAD!
As I was waiting for my final shift schedule that night, my co-worker, a waiter, complimented. “We’re definitely keeping you after what you did.”
“Just doing my job.” I said politely.
The manager came back, telling me that I’m hired and to keep up the good work. He gave me two rest days after today. Instant rest day? Cool!
P.S. I strongly recommend dining in our restaurant. 'Payag', a redefined Filipino restaurant. New York's most famous Filipino restaurant. Come here during Saturday nights where the rock bands rock!
I strongly recommend 'Bulalo Steak'. It's still Bulalo, but without the soup, and with a kiss of spiciness. It's really big and is good for two if with rice, or solo with no rice.
